Politeness is the single most important social skill. This may seem odd since politeness is not something one usually associates with deep thinkers. But courtesy is the core of human interaction. It is how we connect, the grease that lets the gears turn. To be polite is to show respect for others. And despite what you may have heard about how self-centered everyone is, humans are hardwired to care deeply about how others feel. So why do we still think politeness is a trivial virtue? It's because politeness often gets confused with mere manners -- small talk. But this confusion does not reflect well on manners, which are relatively external ways to signal respect for others' feelings, methods that can come off as fake or phony if overdone. Politeness comes naturally but must be learned. We all know how it feels when someone insults us or otherwise treats us disrespectfully, and we all know how corrosive this feeling is over time if left unchecked. So the first step in learning politeness is realizing that other people have these same feelings inside them; they need your courtesy as much as you do.
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